Epic Fail
by Lahlar
Summary: Annoyed with Eddie and Rachel's lack of consideration towards his emotional well-being, Philip decides to do everything in his power to stop them from having sex. Obviously, he fails epically... Reddie smut! Whoo!


**Hey, everyone! I wrote this a while ago as a Challenge Fic, and only just remembered to post it on here :rolls eyes: Anyway, I just want to remind you that it contains lovely Reddie sex. **

**Enjoy!**

* * *

Philip Ryan felt disturbed.

It was one thing to have to put up with your mum and her fiancée at it all night.

It was just plain wrong to listen to the same man have it off with your Aunt.

So he couldn't help but cough loudly, before stomping to the toilet and flushing the chain, smirking as he heard the giggling and low talking subside.

They weren't going to be shagging anytime soon, not if he had anything to do with it.

* * *

Rachel Mason threw her head back onto the pillows in annoyance. She had waited four hours for Philip to go to sleep, and by the time he had, Eddie had, too. Bloody men!

She had been waiting to have sex with Eddie for over a year now, and when she had finally been able to, bloody Philip – the moody sod who had been causing trouble for her both at home and at school but she had to put up with because unfortunately, he was her nephew, as she called him in her mind – had ruined it!

Leaving her extremely frustrated both mentally and sexually.

She could have woken Eddie up, but he looked so sweet, lying there like that. She just couldn't do it to him.

Well, they always had tomorrow night…

* * *

Eddie Lawson sighed in pleasure as Rachel's lips met his, their tongues tangling as his hand skimmed the length of her thigh. Oh god, it felt so perfect; the feel of her supple skin through the soft fabric of her trousers; the way her hands snaked up his stomach and over his chest; the way she placed a pressured kiss on his throat as her fingers began to unbutton his shirt…

The front door banged shut, and they sprang apart, quickly smoothing down their clothes like naughty schoolchildren.

'Philip!' gasped Rachel. 'I thought you were supposed to be playing football.'

'Didn't like it,' grunted Phil, storming upstairs and slamming his door.

Eddie groaned. He'd been so close… all they needed was an extra twenty minutes and they could have…

His trousers became very strained at this point, and he whispered in Rachel's ear, 'My car?'

'Don't be ridiculous!' she hissed, planting a kiss on his lips and leading him to the front door. 'Tomorrow.'

Although as she watched Eddie get into his car like a kicked puppy and desire still coursed through her veins, she couldn't help but wish that she'd taken up his offer…

* * *

Philip sniggered as an evil plan formed in his brain. Rachel was supposed to be going out tonight, was she? Yeah, right. He knew exactly where she was going, and if he had anything to do with it, she would definitely not be joining Eddie tonight.

That was why he left the bath taps on with the plug in as Rachel beeped her horn, urging him to hurry up and get in the car.

She wasn't going anywhere tonight.

* * *

Rachel didn't care any more. She was sexually frustrated, and it did not bode well for any who pissed her off.

Including Janeece bloody Bryant, who was making Rachel feel rather uncomfortable, what with the boobs the size of Rachel's head and the skirt that should have been called a belt.

'What on earth is possessing you to dress in this way, Miss Bryant?' snapped Rachel, after calling Janeece to her office and yelling at her for half an hour straight.

'Dunno, Miss,' Janeece shrugged, her shirt buttons straining in the process.

Rachel rolled her eyes.

At least she was going to get to shout some more.

* * *

Eddie didn't care any more. He was sexually frustrated, and it did not bode well for any who pissed him off.

Including Rachel Mason, who was the cause of all his troubles. He was not impressed by the fact that she seemed to have dumped a week's worth of paperwork on him and told him to complete it by the end of the day.

That's why he was going to see her. It had nothing to do with the fact that his trousers suddenly felt far too tight…

* * *

Philip was running out of ideas. Rachel was supposed to be going to Eddie's tonight. He supposed he could flood the house again, but that was far too risky. As was setting it on fire.

No, he needed something foolproof.

It was time to steal the contraception.

* * *

Just as Rachel finally let Janeece leave, there was yet another knock on the door.

'What?' she snapped.

Eddie stormed in, looking as angry as she felt.

'What?' she repeated, even more annoyance leaking into her tone.

'Why have you given me my paperwork and yours to complete by tonight?' growled Eddie, the problem in his pants refusing to go away.

'You what?' spat Rachel. 'That's not even half of yours! Do you want to see how much I've got to do?'

She stood up, her hip brushing against him as she walked past to the filing cabinet.

Eddie couldn't help himself.

He grabbed Rachel's waist, pressing her against him, and her eyes widened when she felt his desire for her digging into the small of her back.

'Don't be ridiculous, Eddie; we're at work,' Rachel snapped, although her body was screaming out for her to let him ravish her within an inch of her life.

Eddie's hot breath tickled the back of her neck, mingling with the slightly cool breeze that floated in through the open window as he gently lifted her hair, exposing her soft skin.

'Eddie…' Her voice was higher, faltering, and she felt herself relax into his arms. Oh god, she wanted this so much… All the frustration from the past week was bubbling inside her stomach, turning into restless need and convincing her that having sex in her office was fine, that if no one found out then it couldn't hurt anyone…

That was why she broke free of Eddie's arms and turned the key, so that the lock clicked ominously.

There was no going back.

Their eyes met, smouldering black on smouldering black, and renewed desire surged in both of them, swallowing them whole and erasing any doubts that they might have had. All the unresolved sexual tension seemed to fog the air, tainting their view on reality and replacing all emotion with lust, their breath catching in the backs of their throats. They wanted this. They wanted it more than they wanted anything else.

Eddie grabbed Rachel again, spinning her in his arms to face him, holding her to him by her hip – not that she was going anywhere. Her hands curled in the soft fabric of his shirt, almost as if she were about to push him away, except in fact, she was bringing him closer. It didn't take long for her fingers to unbutton his shirt, and they traced the lines of his muscles, rough and urgent but also ridiculously gentle at the same time.

Cupping the back of her head in both hands, Eddie crushed her mouth to his in an almost bruising kiss that stole both their breath, tasting the beautiful flavour he had come to associate with Rachel, twirled onto his tongue by hers. Rachel felt the control that she usually kept in check so easily rapidly deteriorating, replaced by her natural, frenzied urges. Her head span, her body aching with primeval need, a sexual urge that was both irrepressible and irresistible. It was overwhelming, how much she could possibly need Eddie, and hoping to regain some control over the situation, over her feelings, she pushed him backwards, into the dark purple wall, her teeth gently grazing his exposed chest. Her hands seemed to work of their own accord, ripping the shirt off his shoulders, off his arms, throwing the garment like rubbish to the ground. She reached up, almost standing on her toes in her ridiculously high shoes, trailing her tongue over the soft contours of his ear, taking the lobe between her teeth before moving back down to focus her plunder on his neck.

Eddie let his head fall back instinctively, allowing her better access to his tingling skin. His own hands began plucking at her clothes, slipping under the many expensive fabrics and finding something that felt even better, even more luxurious, underneath – her skin. His hand skimmed the soft dip of her hip, feeling her skin flutter like a butterfly trapped in silk beneath his fingertips. The other hand slipped beneath her skirt, up her thigh, meeting lace and pulling it down to find her intimate area, discovering proof that she wanted him just as much as he wanted her. He circled her clitoris with one gentle fingertip, and the way she shuddered against him, sighing in pleasure, drove him crazier than ever.

The heady sensation consumed Rachel completely, and when Eddie stopped his ministrations to undress her, she whimpered in disappointment, softly urging him to hurry up as the impatient need insider her intensified. The time it took to peel away her damped shirt and skirt, to step out of her boots and underwear, seemed agonizingly long, and when he was done, she eagerly unbuckled his trousers, letting them and his boxers drop to the floor. Eddie sank quickly onto the chair behind his desk and pulled her down to straddle his lap. Rachel quickly guided him inside her, sighing happily at how right it felt to her worked up body, allowing his hands to guide her hips as she began to move quickly.

Rachel rocked against him, moaning loudly – even though she knew there was a huge chance they would be caught, what with the window being wide open, and all – at the feel of him buried deep inside her, dragging along spots that always caused her white-hot pleasure and intense ecstasy. Eddie pulled her closer, his mouth finding a nipple and latching onto it, causing soft mewls to issue from Rachel's mouth as she pulsed rhythmically against him. Each thrust brought with it a teasing sign of what they both knew was on its way, but it wasn't enough, and frustrated but at the sane time hoping that it would never have to end, they moved faster, bracing themselves against each other.

Eddie had planned to tease her, to drag it out and torment her a little, but from the moment that they kissed, he lost control. He found himself sinking into her harder and quicker, his animalistic urges eliminating any shred of restraint, until only one thing seemed important: to fuck her, and keep fucking her, more and more wildly, because nothing else seemed to matter, seemed to ever have mattered…

Rachel was burning with an ache for him, so close and yet so far, her breathing strangled and gasping, her movements becoming more and more frantic as a scalding burst of ecstasy began to burn her, bringing her to the brink, and never stopping. One more thrust from Eddie was all it took to push her off, and she gripped his shoulders to stay upright, his hands burying themselves in her waist for extra support as she swore, flashing red oblivion stealing her inhibitions as she shuddered against him.

It did take long for Eddie to follow her into the delicious realms, her spasming muscles pulling him into the realms where nothing but this primitive duel mattered, and he yelled as he spilled inside of her, his voice mingling with hers as they rolled off the chair, barely avoiding injury. They collapsed on the floor, buried in each other's arms, the scent of sex hanging thick in the air as Eddie gently stroked Rachel's damp hair from her face.

The bell rang loudly, signalling lunchtime, and flinching at the lack of contact, they began to get dressed.

After all, there was always last lesson to continue where they left off…

* * *

As Philip slunk down the corridor to Rachel's office, looking shiftily over his shoulders, he wondered how many other kids had been reduced to stealing their aunt's condoms.

Whatever the number was, he was sure that it was small.

There was movement in the office, and he ducked behind the photocopier. Eddie emerged, his clothes rumpled and his face flushed.

Philip cursed. He had failed. Epically.

* * *

**Hope you enjoyed and don't forget to review :)**

**x**


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